WHEN SHE’S EXPECTING…

Pregnancy can be an absolute physical, emotional, and sexual nightmare for many women. And yet we rarely ever hear about the sexual needs of a woman who happens also to be eating, sleeping, and nurturing two human beings at once.

First of all, every woman experiences pregnancy differently. I know lucky women for whom every single day of their pregnancy was an absolute dream, and others whose pregnancy was a distasteful blend of illness, stress, wildly shifting libido levels, moodiness, and emotional distress.

For many women, pregnancy can be an extremely emotional time. Even before her body begins changing, hormonal changes are likely to have a sudden and forceful effect on a healthy woman’s libido. For many women, the first trimester of pregnancy not only includes nausea but also a decrease in sexual libido or even her ability to orgasm.

After an embryo implants in the wall of a woman’s uterus, cells in the placenta go into fast production of a hormone called human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG), which peaks around week six of pregnancy. And like a line of dominos, this hormone stimulates the production of other hormones, including estrogen and progesterone. When these hormone levels surge, it often causes mood swings and nausea. And for some women the sudden hormonal changes also cause her to feel fatigue, stress, digestive issues and breast tenderness. So for many of these women, the first trimester includes hormonal changes that often lessen her natural libido or even make sexual activity uncomfortable. But there are also outliers, who find that their sudden hormone changes actually increase their libido during the first trimester.

During the second trimester, most pregnant women experience a sudden spike in libido, as estrogen and progesterone levels gradually climb throughout the pregnancy. During this part of the pregnancy, most women feel decreasing levels of nausea and higher levels of sexual energy. Most women feel their libido peaking during their second trimester, but every woman’s body is different.

The complicating factor for most women during their second trimester is their changing body. In a culture with an unhealthy obsession with an unrealistic female aesthetic— many women are horrified to look in a mirror and see, for the first time in their lives, the amazing female body accommodating a growing baby. Rapid weight gain, stretch marks, and a radically different shape are things most women grow up guarding against- not celebrating. So no matter how much she avoids that full-body mirror in her bedroom, most pregnant women can’t help but feel uncomfortable in their skin during much of their pregnancy. Even television actresses suddenly appear in baggy clothes and carrying laundry baskets to hide their bulging bellies— delivering a subconscious message that there is something unattractive about a pregnant woman’s body.

And while we can thank Demi Moore for giving many women their first glimpse of a sexy woman boldly posing naked and very pregnant— for heaven’s sake— that ‘s Demi Moore. It’s like celebrating Tyrese Gibson for bravely exposing his bald head. Still otherworldly in charisma and sexiness, the rare media depictions of pregnant women are usually outside of the aesthetic reach of most mortal human beings.

So while a woman’s libido might be rising during her second trimester, her self confidence and self-esteem related to her changing body is decreasing. So what happens when a woman with a high libido is feeling terrible about her body and not having sex? Nothing good, I assure you.

And during her third trimester, women often face their biggest challenges of pregnancy. Swelling, accelerated weight gain, exhaustion, body aches and discomfort can make sexual activity more difficult- or even impossible. Yet those hormone levels continue to gradually climb, along with her libido. What results is an extremely horny woman whose body often cannot get comfortable enough to enjoy sex. This combination with seeing a new and completely transformed body in the mirror is a personal nightmare for many women.

(And a word of advice to all women- NEVER, ever apologize to your man about your pregnant body! He did this to you! He better love and worship that pregnant body of yours!)

Yet again there are those blessed outliers whose late pregnancy not only provides her highest sex drive but also her greatest sexual satisfaction— regardless of the foreign body she finds herself suddenly occupying. 

I met Miss H a few months ago. Her session was booked by Z, her loving partner, who was working in another state and indicated that Miss H was 8½ months pregnant. While I have served a pregnant woman before, never a woman that pregnant. I assured Z that I would consider providing the service, but only if he and Miss H identified a clear plan of action should my very special services trigger delivery. They did, and we had a plan in place and we all knew to which hospital she would be taken should she go into labor.

On the day we met in the hotel, Miss H was radiant. People often talk about the special "glow" of a pregnant woman and she definitely had it. She was small in stature, with a modest little yoni, and a giant belly likely holding a giant baby. Even though I am not an OB-GYN, I am good enough at math to know that a baby as big as the one in her belly was never going to get out of that cute little yoni. We actually discussed her birth plan, and I asked if she would consider a c-section. Like most women, she shared that it was not her first choice, but if needed to deliver a healthy baby, she would. I was relieved. I also shared a true story about a close family member who had delivered two babies- one by natural delivery and the other by c-section. Her experience actually was much easier with her c-section. Miss H seemed surprised to hear that, but I was glad she heard me.  

Miss H and I chatted for a little while more, went over consent and contingencies, and when she was ready, the service began. In many ways her service was like any other woman, but for an occasional kick and shifting belly from the baby. Miss H’s sexy body quickly responded to my sensual touch. Her sexual energy was absolutely formidable and her body clearly needed the attention it was being given. She was extremely confident sexually, and... expressive.  😉  She also occasionally gave me direction to increase her pleasure (I always appreciate that), and after a few hours and a few big finishes, we stopped for a few minutes and chatted again.

Even though she contemplated one more orgasm "for the road," she changed her mind and was finally finished. She was extremely relieved, happy, and I could almost see the stresses of her pregnancy melted away as we were together in the bed.

When it was time to leave, I sent a quick text to Z to let him know that she and the baby were both fine. Since our service, Miss H has posted some glowing reviews and even responded to redditors curious about her experience with me. For those wondering, she delivered a healthy and beautiful baby girl the following week, via c-section, we have remained closely in touch, and are good friends today.  

I am hopeful that this post and Miss H's experience will provide comfort and direction to healthy women without any idea how to cope with their libido during pregnancy.

I have one word: orgasms.

Lots and lots and lots of orgasms. Get them from your partner. Give them to yourself. Or book a session and get some from me. It is my opinion that pregnancy is likely the time in most women’s lives when they can most benefit from the wonder that is a fulfilling orgasm.

During orgasm, a woman’s body releases dopamine, known as “the feel-good hormone,” and oxytocin, sometimes called “the love drug.” Oxytocin is also a neurotransmitter that is associated with empathy, trust, sexual activity, and relationship-building. And even without sex, for most women, nipple stimulation can cause a surge of oxytocin, which leads to lubrication and arousal.‌ These hormones strongly increase feelings of happiness and other positive emotions for a woman.

Meanwhile, orgasms and an increase of these hormones also counteracts the “stress hormone,” cortisol. By counteracting the cortisol in their bodies, most women feel less stressed and anxious, and more relaxed. All of these positive things from just one little orgasm. Now a formidable supply of powerful orgasms can leave a pregnant woman to navigate the challenges of pregnancy with a surplus of happiness, trust, empathy, and connectedness with her partner. What pregnant woman doesn’t want that?

And while discomfort or even pain during sexual activity may arise for some pregnant women, trying different positions might resolve this issue. However, my personal suggestion to husbands with very pregnant wives is to give them lots and lots of orgasms through oral or manual stimulation. That sexy woman is carrying your baby! Now get down there and give her beautiful yoni that loving attention it needs!

YoniMaster Rick