SELFISH LOVERS…

Probably the most common sexual complaint women express to me about their past or current sexual partners is that they are selfish. This makes me angry. But I guess it also keeps me busy.

Time after time, I hear from the woman who tried to create a fun and intimate experience for her partner who declares the session complete once he is finished— whether or not she has been satisfied. Like a dinner guest who arrives late, scoffs down and eats an entire meal in ten minutes (by the way, nothing should ever be eaten in only ten minutes… 😉) before abruptly leaving the table and heading home, everyone else is left to wonder, “what’s wrong with that guy?”

So why is our sex-crazed culture so saturated with selfish lovers? Porn.

Everyone today has access to an unlimited supply of all things pornographic in their pockets. And while there are some outliers, most porn consists of a simple formula: unrealistic female stereotypes showcase their bodies, service a man (or men), maybe engage in a short sex session which she seems to really, really enjoy rather quickly, and then the man finishes. When the man is done, the show is over. And we now have generations of young men and women believing that this is sex. It isn’t.

So young men and women have been conditioned, falsely, to believe that sex is all about the man and once he is done, the fun is over. In reality, we have this all wrong. Most men are only capable of one orgasm per sex session (unless they take a break until he is physically able to continue) and these orgasms do not vary much. Conversely, most women are capable of many, many orgasms which vary widely in type and intensity. Most women can have internal and external orgasms. Some women can experience multiple orgasms. How men’s orgasms have become the focus of most porn is ridiculous. A woman experiencing a powerful orgasm is quite amazing. To see her beautiful, feminine body experiencing pleasure of a magnitude unrivaled by any man speaks not only to her own sexiness but also to the skill and determination of her lover.

Since most men have no problem finishing, but many women have difficulty achieving orgasm— the most equitable and balanced sexual experience should probably include the man bringing the woman several orgasms first before he even thinks of finishing and calling it a night. And am I the only one who likes to save the best for last? Since the woman’s orgasms are the best and sexiest- isn’t that the best place for a grand finale? So guys, when you’re finished, the best course of action would be to see if she still wants more. And your hands and mouth tend to have much more stamina than other parts of your anatomy, by the way.

It seems far worse than inconsiderate to leave a woman unsatisfied. Yet men do this again and again and again. So often that many beautiful and sexy women are conditioned to believe that sex is a chore that a woman does to satisfy her man. Some women consider it her duty. Others learn to enjoy what little intimate attention they receive. These are the clients whose lives and opinions about sex are turned upside-down after a session with me.

The yoni massage experience takes time. Three or more hours is typical. During this time her body is given tender and loving attention designed to maximize her body’s pleasure and even to help her better understand her own body’s potential for climax and sexual gratification. And this is performed by a polite gentleman unconcerned with his own gratification. An expert in coaxing a wide range of orgasms from the female body, I truly enjoy noting the modes of touch which each individual woman enjoys. Once I am “dialed in” to her pleasure center, her body becomes like a musical instrument which I am happy to play… again and again. Many of my clients ask why their orgasms with me are so different. And part of the reason is in her own mind. Since she knows that she gets to relax and enjoy, she has no worries about being expected to reciprocate or put out afterwards. This frees her mind to better enjoy the experience.

Also, a woman’s body needs touch and loving attention much more than a man’s. A sensual caress of her arms, hands, feet, legs and hips sets a woman’s sensual receptors on fire. By the time my lengthy session turns to the more sensitive parts of her body, it is already a raging inferno of lust and desire. And since most women have never enjoyed a sexual experience that included stimulation of her entire body, they don’t even know what they’re missing.

I think the silver lining here is that men are not all selfish jerks— most are just ignorant to the powerful sexual needs of a woman’s body. And I am hopeful that services such as yoni massage will awaken women to their bodies’ sexual needs. A man who truly loves a woman wants her to be sexually satisfied. So ladies, you need to teach him. When he climaxes and rolls over to go to sleep— let him know that you’re not done and that he’d better get to work.

When he seems overly proud of himself after a sex session that is mediocre (or “mid” as the youngsters say), let him know that you need more. If he is unwilling to tend to your physical needs, please know that there are many other men who will. Sexual compatibility is an important factor for women to consider when selecting a life partner. Too often women either do not consider it, or else they assume it is something that can improve with time. While it can occasionally improve, that’s not always the case. So if your man is unwilling to give you more when your sexy body demands it, at least acknowledge that as a red flag that should not be ignored.

This article reminds me of a story I read a long time ago about a group of French sailors who arrived on a Polynesian Pacific island of native islanders. They were received kindly by the local Polynesians who welcomed them and traded food and goods. But everything changed when the French sailors began having sex with the native women. Word quickly spread among the locals that the native women were really enjoying the passionate “giving” that the French sailors considered an essential part of the lovemaking experience. It seems the native island men were very selfish, and these generous French lovers were all the rage. They had opened the local women’s eyes not only to the failures of their own lovers, but also to their own bodies’ capacity for ecstasy. That story did not have a happy ending for those sexy French sailors, by the way…

Perhaps the introduction of yoni massage into American culture can be likened to the arrival of those French sailors in Polynesia. Once American women are introduced to the pleasures of yoni massage, how they live their sexual lives is certain to change. The proverbial sexual horses have left the stables. By experiencing greater sexual pleasure, women’s sexual expectations from their partners are rightfully heightened. To where they should be!

YoniMaster Rick