HEALING SEXUAL TRAUMA…
A surprising number of women today have experienced sexual trauma.
And over the years, I have learned that yoni massage can benefit women who have experienced sexual trauma by: providing a safe environment for a woman to rediscover her sexual desire; helping her to become more comfortable with intimate touch; healing her sexual avoidance and boosting her libido; relieving shame associated with sex; and nurturing her sexual spirit.
In recent months, I have noticed a sharp uptick in younger women who have been specifically referred to me by their female doctors or therapists. Rather than prescribing medications to numb or mask discomfort or pain she associates with sex, and recognizing that her patients need to experience a nurturing and positive sexual encounter, these wonderful practitioners actually listen to their patients and want them to reconnect with their sexuality in a healthy way. My clients with histories of sexual trauma report some of the most incredible benefits from my yoni massage services. For many of these women, I can confidently say that I have set them on a course toward a healthy sexual life. And I often hear from past clients in this group who share how they can trace a major shift in their sex lives to our first yoni massage session together. And this makes me feel very proud.
One of the first things I learned during my yoni massage training was that many women have experienced sexual trauma in their lives. In our society, we often mistakenly associate sexual trauma with violence and forced sexual acts against a woman. But for most women today, their first time experiencing sexual intercourse is traumatic. Even when she was a willing and eager participant.
In the U.S., nearly 70% of young girls have experienced intercourse by the age of 18. For the vast majority of these young ladies, their first partner was a teenage boy or young adult male. Sadly, most teenage boys (and even many adult men) do not know the first thing about how to properly prepare a woman’s body for intercourse. It’s something young men are not taught, and the male-centric porn that most young men consume does very little to guide a naïve young man toward providing a comfortable and nurturing experience for a young woman with little or no sexual experience. As a result, most young women’s bodies are not fully prepared when they first experience penetration, and actual pain and physical discomfort are imprinted onto her sexual memory.
So most women quickly associate sex with something unpleasant that they are expected to endure for the benefit of their male partner. And like many other women’s issues, this is something we rarely hear about. But this needs to change. In my dream world, I would give seminars to large groups of young adults to teach them how they can make a woman’s first time a wonderful experience for her. I’m not sure our puritanical society is ready for that just yet. But I can dream of a future world with women who comfortably and shamelessly wield their own sexual power throughout long shame-free lives full of gratifying sexual experiences from generous and skilled partners.
Women’s amazing bodies also experience great trauma through childbirth. In particular, many women experience dramatic changes in their sacred yoni following childbirth. Soreness is expected by women after they deliver their first child. However, most women also experience some degree of tearing during a vaginal childbirth. And these injuries can go beyond the caesarian section or episiotomy scars that most pregnant women know about but hope to avoid. And while most women’s scarring following delivery will heal over time, for some unlucky women, surgery may be required to remove scar tissue down the road— especially if pain caused by sexual intercourse is excessive.
In addition, for many women, pushing something the size of a watermelon through something the size of a lemon will leave her with a different lemon than before. For some, she will notice that her vagina feels wider, or that her labia look different than before. Other concerns for which most women are completely unprepared.
And finally are the group of women who have endured the horrors of a violent or otherwise traumatic sexual experience. Too many women are sexually violated in their lifetime. And for these women, the damage often goes far beyond physical. Some women’s entire ability to enjoy the pleasures of sex are eliminated or greatly diminished. Trust and insecurity about her vulnerability often are irreparably impaired— and this often bleeds into her day-to-day life and relationships. For many women, the wounds of sexual trauma never completely heal. But I have learned that yoni massage offers hope to many women who have endured sexual trauma, providing a real possibility for healing and for a sexual “reset” of her body and mind.
So how does a yoni massage “heal” a woman with any history of trauma?
It provides a safe environment for her body to experience pleasure and to rediscover her sexual desire.
When a woman experiences sexual trauma, it can often be imprinted upon both her body and her psyche. Some women carry the pain and suffering for a lifetime, and their bodies may even recoil at the thought of sexual intimacy. A sexual abuse survivor will often have a very low libido— even when strong sexual desire is still present in her body and mind. Even where a woman who has endured sexual trauma may become comfortable with sex, it might still be difficult or impossible for her to want it. And if she does want it, she may feel guilt or shame. Shame is one of the trickiest emotions to deal with and it is very hard to break free of.
But as human beings, we are wired to want sex. Physical intimacy is one of life’s greatest pleasures— especially for women, who need physical touch. A boost in sexual libido following yoni massage is so expected- I wrote an entire blog about it.
By allowing herself to experience a yoni massage by a skilled provider focused exclusively on her pleasure, a woman with a history of sexual trauma has taken an important first step toward healing.
The gentle and thorough stimulation of her body allows her to become more comfortable with intimate touch.
My particular yoni massage system is much longer than most. I find it essential to use a lengthy and tantalizing full-body slow touch session to first help her body relax, and then to gradually allow her body to ascend to a heightened state of arousal. Even for women whose bodies are highly reactive, my slow touch therapy allows for a slow and steady incline in her comfort being touched in a sensual manner. As time passes and her excitement builds, any apprehension in her mind or body slowly fades as her sexually responsive body takes over.
As I acquaint her body with my hands, we are building an intimate connection— one that is often a surprise to a new client. As I watch her body responding positively to my touch, I will often check in with easy conversation about how she is feeling or her level of comfort. In the background, we enjoy relaxing new-age music and the mild scent of my one-of-a-kind organic coconut oil— both carefully selected to add to the peace and tranquility of the experience. And to reassure her that she is in safe and capable hands (literally).
And for any trauma survivor experiencing my services for the first time, we are working closely together to reprogram her mind and body to appreciate the healing power of nurturing intimate touch. Where the wounds of trauma have dominated, we are creating a powerful new memory of safe and compassionate sexual fulfillment. Many of my clients with traumatic histories have reported that my services changed the trajectory of her sexual life and opened her up to a nourishing and healthy sexual experience. The need of some of my clients for a positive intimate experience is so great that some local female doctors and therapists have held off on prescribing medications and instead directed them to my services as a way of opening them up to better connect with their own bodies and sexuality. Several female doctors and therapists appreciate that some women simply need the benefits that are unique to a satisfying sexual experience.
Overall, a yoni massage has the potential to imprint a positive and gratifying sexual experience that can boost her “sexual spirit” and raise the bar for her future sexual experiences.
However, this is also a double-edged sword. By experiencing a three-hour long intimate encounter where she is solely the recipient, it sets an exceptionally high bar for her next sexual encounter.
With all clients who enjoy a very powerful release during our session, I encourage them to take their experience with me and carry it forward with their partner(s). She can now provide some clear direction to any man willing to expend time and energy on her sole gratification. While many women are comfortable giving, it can take time for a woman to get comfortable receiving— much less demanding some attention to her beautiful body.
But for those who are comfortable giving orders and wise enough to select a partner ready to take her direction, I have now armed her with some very specific sensations that she now knows feel particularly nice. 😉
YoniMaster Rick
